Horsetoot:About

SaladFrosting is brought to you by https://div0.com. It is a comprehensive guide to all terms found in Horsetoot and Halseide lore dating from the year 2001 to present day.

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Our Mission

Here at SaladFrosting, we believe that information should be informational and that funny things should be shared. It is our mission to spread the lore of Horsetoot and of Halseide to the worldly-wide-web-sphere with shocking freshness. It is today that we break from tradition and return to our roots at SaladFrosting!

Our 'Original" About Page

(from https://saladfrosting.home.blog/about-saladfrosting-com/) It was Friday night. I was exhausted after a week’s worth of work, a week’s worth of driving, and a week’s worth of doing it alone. I drove straight from work to pick up the kids from their mom’s, and we went to the health club. As I was starving, I instructed the kids to “go play in the gym” while I tried to fuel up to give me enough energy to outlast 5 kids for the final few hours of Friday. I ordered a Caesar Salad and a 32 oz beer and sat down in a huge tired heap.

After a few minutes of quiet, with me enjoying my salad and nursing my beer, Suzanna, age 7 came in. She looked at me with her big blinking eyes that said “croutons please” without her saying a word. I lifted her up to the raised table, and she carefully picked out a morsel. But what is this? Her selected crumb had a bit of dressing on it. She carefully extended her tongue to sample this foreign matter on one of her favorite foods. Her nose was wrinkled in anticipation of what she would taste.

One swift lick, and her head cocked to the side and her eyes widened. I watched as she dipped the crouton back into a dab of dressing and licked an even bigger dollop off. Suzanna then spotted the empty dressing containers accompanying my salad that I had poured the dressing out of in the first place. Taking her index finger, she licked the first one clean. Then the second.

Finished but not quite, she looked at me and said, “Daddy, is there any more salad frosting?”

Our 'Original" Mission Page

I am a mission-critical crew member of a very large scale simulation of a universe. I am currently assigned to the Milky Way galaxy, to a star system headed by a G-type main-sequence star (yellow dwarf) known variously as Helios, Sol, and the Sun. The planet I am currently assigned to is called Earth, the largest of the solar system's four terrestrial planets. I am part of a very large population (currently 7.3B) that unfortunately for their most part are unaware of their mission due to mismanagement of the planet by politicians, and also a diminished sense of personal responsibility. My mission objectives are to: 1) interact, learn, observe and engage with as many experiences, feelings, places, life forms, constructs, and ideas as possible 2) train a select number of junior astronauts (currently I am assigned 5 cadets) 3) Report on the realism of the simulation by writing symbols on paper or pressing pieces of plastic that are connected to complex machines. 4) Leave the simulation in better condition than I found it in. My accomplishments in this mission so far are (and in no particular order) Experiencing sensations of Suffering, Tragedy, Healing, Joy, Exhilaration, Happiness, Empathy, Transcendence, and Love. I am engaged in creating music, art, and offspring that are capable of the same.

Contact

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